What is your definition of success?

What is your personal definition of success?  And why should it be your definition? 

If we are to buy into the messages we're bombarded with, it may appear success is about how much we have in the bank, the number of followers we have, or even what we have achieved by a certain age.  While there's nothing wrong with these things in themselves - are they standalone measures of true success?

There are numerous dangers in focusing on what others tell us equates to success. Not only do they have their own motivations, their view may not be realistic and we can easily feel disheartened if we look at where we are and assume we don't measure up. This can lead us to question what we're doing and whether we are 'good enough.’ We can lose our confidence and drive, maybe even giving up on our ambitions and dreams altogether because we're not yet where we 'should' be.

Are we successful only when others say we are?  History is full of examples of those now considered 'successful' who wouldn't be where they are if they had listened to all the 'no's' and knock-backs they received throughout their journey. It's also full of examples of people who may appear to have it all on the outside, but who are not truly happy.  

Michelle Obama famously said: "Success isn't about how much money you make, it's about the difference you make in people's lives."  Wise words, especially for those who possess strong intrinsic motivators that go beyond a monetary value.  That being said, finding a way to monetise our skills to sustain our work and make a difference, is an important accomplishment. However again, that doesn't necessarily mean we’re successful.

The truth is - there is no single factor that defines success but a combination of factors that make the difference.  So why is it important to take the time to define what success means to each of us? Why does it matter to create a personal success definition? 

A personal definition is valuable for a number of reasons.  Here are just three:

#1 Your definition is likely to change over time as your life circumstances shift, you develop yourself, and you become aware of what's important to you and the priorities that give your life meaning now. If you have a growth mind-set, change will be inevitable and welcomed.

#2 When it's your definition of success, it helps you avoid comparing yourself to others. This is dangerous because not only do each of us face unique circumstances, but what we see others achieving is only the tip of the iceberg.  We have no idea what it’s taken to reach that point, what else is going on in their lives, or even if they're truly fulfilled.

#3 It's your life, and your journey.  It's valuable to get inspiration, ideas and advice from others, but ultimately, you must make the final decisions of which path to take, and you will be the one to experience the results of those choices. Your life experiences have shaped you to this point and you possess unique strengths that only you can offer.

The beauty is - you have greater control than it may appear, a generous range of options, and endless creative license. This allows you to be more flexible, less hard on yourself, and to stop focusing purely on the end goal but rather, to enjoy the journey. To 'be'.  Along the way, you may decide to take a different path to what you originally intended, or even to change your destination altogether. And that's ok.  Because you define and create your success.  

So - is it time to re-think your personal definition?  

The snowflake

If you've ever experienced the beauty of watching snowflakes fall, you've no doubt marvelled at the fact that scientists confirm no two flakes are identical.  On closer examination of a single snowflake, you can't help but be amazed at the intricate complexity and beauty of the crystal's design.  What is it that makes each snowflake unique, however?  In simple terms, the answer lies in the way snowflakes form and fall to earth.  

A snowflake starts forming when water vapour condenses around a speck of dust and then crystallises.  This happens high in the clouds — up to six miles up.  How the water vapour continues to condense and where the snowflake falls "is what determines the way the snowflake, or snow crystal, looks when it lands," science journalist and author Mariana Gosnell confirms. "It is extremely sensitive to microenvironments... By the time it reaches earth, it may not have any resemblance to the very simple crystal that it started out as six miles up."

Another source (wonderopolis.org) simplifies this process further: "Even though two snowflakes may form in the same cloud, their different journeys to the ground will affect their shape and size, giving each snowflake its own unique identity."

So it's the snowflake's journey that makes it uniquely beautiful, not where it started from. Thinking about this in relation to us as individuals - we are already aware there are numerous biological and environmental factors that make each of us unique.  But just like a snowflake, our personal journey has a significant influence and plays a considerable role in shaping us.

While none of us have any control over how our journey in life starts out, as we mature, we begin to exert more power and influence over our decisions and life course. And in many cases, it's usually possible to change the direction of our journey.

What control do you have over the path your journey has taken you on to this point? Perhaps more than you realise.  Even if you may not be exactly where you thought you'd be personally or professionally, it is possible to examine your choices and take action to achieve different results, shift in a new direction, or strengthen the direction you've started heading in.

A personalised coaching programme is tailored to your personal objectives.  It takes into consideration your unique background, talents, strengths, values and goals.  It also takes into account the journey you’ve taken to this point.  Just like a snowflake, your journey is part of who you are and gives you your unique beauty.  But while you can learn much from where you've come from, your journey continues.  Rather than concentrating solely on the past, coaching helps you focus on your future - supporting you as you take steps to follow the direction that aligns with who you are now and who you need to become, to reach the destination of your choice. 

Where do you want your journey to take you? How will you shape it to discover your best-self and optimise your performance?  Are you ready to begin?

Walking in the rain

Today was a non-office day and I was fortunate enough to have some downtime and an appointment with my acupuncturist.  Rather than the usual dash of trying to cross London in the shortest possible time on every form of public transport available, I had allowed some extra time to walk and take half an hour for myself to clear my head.

As I stepped outside, it had started raining lightly. I was hopeful it might be a passing sun shower so decided to set off walking anyway.  The ‘passing shower’ soon turned into a heavy downpour, however I had my jacket and umbrella so decided to stick to my original plan and keep walking.

I came to realise a couple of interesting things during my walk in the rain.  One of my favourite relaxing sounds is being in bed, warm and cosy, listening to the rain outside. Usually – I would avoid being outside in the rain and opt for transportation to reach my destination instead. Yet I hadn’t realised what I had been missing out on.  As I walked along underneath my umbrella – I realised I could still enjoy that same, soothing sound and feel an incredible sense of calm. 

What was the difference this time?  Well, I wasn’t caught out but was prepared for the possibility of rain, and I had a large enough umbrella to cover me completely.  So rather than worrying about getting wet, I could still enjoy being outside and felt surprisingly tranquil and relaxed by the time I reached my appointment.

It made me realise that to get the most out of them - we need to expect the rainstorms in our lives.  They will come; it’s just a matter of when. To help us get through them and still reach our destination as calmly as possible though, we need to prepare as best we can and ensure we’ve got suitable ‘cover’ to protect ourselves.  Depending on the situation - that could be having a B plan in place, someone to delegate to, or ensuring we have the right level of support around us – personal and professional. 

Even if the rain starts falling a little harder, we don’t necessarily need to change our original plans or direction completely if we’ve got adequate support in place and if we are flexible enough to adjust to changing circumstances.  Sure, we might arrive at our destination a little later than planned and possibly with ‘wet feet’ but hopefully we’ve learnt something more about ourselves from the journey. And maybe, we’ll discover that sometimes, walking in the rain isn’t that bad after all.